I stare at the blank page,
Forcing my thoughts into imprisoned words.
Sentence after sentence,
I carefully construct a piece of worthy literature only acceptable to me:
For whom is the judge between the enslaved mind and fingers shackled to the brain?
A moment turns into an infinity:
the removal of one dictator for another…
Will I ever experience liberty,
If I am both the slave and holder of the whip?
Cinderella falls into the rabbit hole,
And Alice is tricked into an everlasting sleep.
Snow white rescues Prince Charming from the dragon,
And Little Red Riding Hood is the wicked witch.
Yugeur labong ziber ziber awwreu
Gremble remble zench laroux
Insanity is the norm that allows me to imprison my thoughts.
Each word containing many thoughts just waiting to be freed
I have bite marks on my tongue from the words I never let pour out of my mouth,
Scratch marks on my arms from the hugs I could never give you:
The physical pain is not what eats the corner of my brain,
But rather the silence:
The idea that it was all just an illusion in my head.
Because for once in my life I wanted to believe in a fairy tale.
I felt something and mistook him for being Prince Charming.
It was midnight and when my glass slipper fell off my foot, he didn’t see it because he was too caught up loving Cinderella.
For I was not her,
I was just merely an imposter on Halloween-
all dressed up for trick-or-treat.
Cloaked and hidden:
i see all and understand
An oracle of souls,
Perspective is investment:
a never ending cycle of give and take
My heart bleeds on a page,
and as all the emotions are carved into my soul-
Each scar and bruise,
Reminds me of the nothingness of pain:
a small black hole sucking away at the youth of my physical cage
Set him free:
Let him feel the motion of the air against his wings
Untouched and unguarded
Then watch him fall:
Let him get shot from his paradise of nothingness
Broken and bruised
Give him life:
Let him fall in love with the beauty of your eyes
Revived and rejuvenated
Set him free…
Dolls lined up in neat rows of ten,
each equally afraid of lies, pain and disappointment
Drawn with aching smiles and soulless eyes:
cages are imprinted with redundant words to spark interest
A new era of egocentrically selfless dolls pollute the aisle
while the rest are left to decay into the dust they rose from
And as damaged beauty is glorified,
hearts are lost to the physical eye:
Money, magnified, manic
Absent, apathetic, abandoned
Grated, generic, glorified
Empty, effortless, edited
the end of each relationship is the beginning of every insecurity…
I suppress it:
The urge to write.
The urge to let my feelings dribble on a page.
I need to control.
Need to know what will happen so I will be prepared.
So nothing will ever hurt me.
With my fort too high to breach.
And my hair too short to climb.
I will not be broken.